Ozymandias

by Percy Bysshe Shelley

I met a traveler from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;
And on the pedestal these words appear:
“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look upon my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

This is one of the only poems I remember from Abeka's high school English.  Even as a teenager I could apply the irony of a broken, deserted statue that claimed domination.  His proclamation, "Look upon my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”  made me think of how we puff ourselves up and try to intimidate others into thinking we are superior.  And what did it gain this king of kings?  A shattered face, decay, wreckage, emptiness and level sand.  Life has a way of leveling you.  This is a little dark this morning, I mean, come on Janelle and just start mopping floors!   

Last night Aaron played me an awesome message from Brian Mclaren that he gave at Mars Hill recently.  He talked about the different stories that people - individuals to nations - play out over and over.  The stories of domination, revolution, victimization, isolation, consumption and control, I think that's all of them, and how these paradigms shape civilization.  They are responsible for wars, broken families, broken lives.  But the most nauseating is when we take the story of Jesus and the kingdom of God and slap it over one of those human stories and try to make our carnal, human pursuits into something holy.  He said it's like wolves in sheep's clothing.  Oh how tempting it is to do this!  I see areas where I think I'm better (stronger, more intelligent, more compassionate) and I can claim to be more Christ-like.  Then there's the prosperity preachers that take the "consumption" view and say Jesus wants you to be happy, healthy and wealthy.  A chord struck with me hearing about the isolation view - that if you just put yourself in a bubble, you can reach your full potential in God.    Where's that village?  LOL  I'm thankful for the message of this poem.  Whatever our bent, if it is not truly Jesus, eventually our life will reflect "Nothing beside remains."  But we can be built on the true Rock.  There is a Way to life in Jesus.  My kids are calling me now.  They are definitely living the domination story!

Today is Lydia's third day of Kindergarten.  She went Monday, Tuesday and today.  Next week she goes on Monday for about an hour for testing, then has the rest of the week off.  Monday the 25th will be the first day with the entire class there, and they will go every day from there on out.  Today has been easier, probably because Aaron took her to school and I didn't have to watch her walk away from me.  The twins are doing great with potty training.  Emily has worn panties for two days in a row, including nap time, and Elijah is about 50/50 with going potty in the toilet verses his pull-up.  Aaron bought them a surprise - coloring books- for using the potty, and a whoopee cushion!  Seems appropriate!   But the kids broke it within 20 minutes of being home, so I had to get another one.  The house is still for sale, it's getting frustrating because we haven't had a lot of lookers, and then some silly teenagers stole our For Sale sign, then brought it back a few days later.  They also pulled a "ding-dong ditch" on Saturday night about 11 pm.  So we are praying that it will sell soon, I hate living in limbo!

 

Here's some pictures from the week.  Yes, Emily has on boy jammies.  Lydia borrowed those from Zach once, and it stuck that they are for girls.  I'm weird!  Emily looks a little too happy that Lydia has left for school.  And I have no idea what is up with Elijah in the first picture!  Boys are interesting. 

 

Lydia's first day of school was yesterday.  It has been really hard on me.  I sobbed all day yesterday!  I can't believe my baby is this big.  In fact I'm kind of in mourning over her babyhood/toddler years.  They are over, no "do-overs", no repeats.  Everyone told me they go so fast, but it's one of those things you don't understand until you experience it for yourself.  I wish I could do it all again.  But I keep telling myself not to miss today looking back at the past.  THIS is the day the Lord has made, and I want to rejoice and be glad in it.  Soon I'll be wishing she was only 5 and in Kindergarten.  Today has been a much better day.  I've only cried once when we were driving away from the school and Emily cried out, "but I don't want to leaver her here!"  Still makes me tear up.  I am so thankful for the twins.  When I lost it yesterday they sat on my lap and told me not to cry.  I'm glad they have each other too.  It would be so sad if they didn't have one another to play with.  Of course when we picked Lydia up she told me she had a wonderful time, except she did get sent to time out one time, I was kind of surprised at that.  My child!  Shocking!    So I'm sitting here with Elijah and Emily on my lap trying to type.  I can't wait until 2:30!

Elijah is killing me right now.  He is watching a "Madeline" video and singing the theme song with a full French accent!  It is so funny.  When he sings to the CD of nursery rhymes my mom got them he has a British accent.  And it is hilarious when he speaks the sign-language words that Marlee Matlin has taught him on Baby Einstein!  Maybe he'll work for the government someday as a linguist.  Emily is doing SO WELL with the potty training.  She goes pee pee in the toilet every time, and even woke up dry from overnight once this week.  She's having a block with poo poo though, can't seem to do it again.  Last night at dinner Lydia starts staring into space and shouts, "I can't see!  I'm blind!" then pretended to knock stuff on the table like she couldn't see it.  I swear I should have put that child into acting from birth, she comes up with the craziest things!  I think one of the weirdest things about me is that I LOVE the smell of my kids' stinky breath in the mornings.  Emily is sitting on my lap right now and it is heavenly.  This is probably because my mom always told me how much she loved the way I smelled in the mornings when I was little. 

 

Well, be careful what you say in public because it comes back to bite you!  Several times this past week Aaron has said, "um, don't you want to only see Jesus in people?"  LOL  He's caught me being critical of others and put a mirror right in front of my face.  I am so ashamed to admit one thing.  I was telling him a conversation that I overheard where I thought someone said something very self-righteous and condescending.  The problem was Aaron heard the same conversation and he knew exactly what was said and it was NOTHING like what I thought was said!  Classic game of "telephone"!  That's when he reminded me that I was supposed to be looking for the positive, and instead I projected my negative expectations on this person.  Ouch!  I read something this morning in "Simple Abundance" by Sarah Ban Breathnach that I thought was good.  It said that we have the opportunity every day to give expression to the Divine.  It made me think of the kingdom of heaven being within us, and our ability to share and spread it, or keep it locked inside.  And then there's the expression I'm embarrassed of, the parts that see through a negative lens.  It makes me think of a story I read once ...

 

A Cherokee Legend

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.

"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."