I was writing down everything I ate for a week or so, and I started using a website - www.thedailyplate.com - to track instead of writing it down.  This site is very cool!  It has a database of thousands of foods that you can use to track what you eat.  It estimates how many calories you should eat based on your current weight, activity level and weight loss goals.  Ann told me about this site, and I really like it so far.  I have tried to stay within the calorie range it gave me, but the biggest eye opener for me is that it breaks down your foods eaten by percentage of fat, carb and protein.  OMG, I've been shocked at that.  I think a good ratio is 30 fat, 30 protein and 40 carb.  My protein has been averaging about 17%!  And that's with a low-carb mindset.  There is a lot of sugar in foods, especially prepared ones, that you don't realize.  It is probably because I'm a math person, but I love seeing the info broken down that way.  And it's free!  That is amazing when you consider Weight Watchers and South Beach online charge $65 for three months.  This site also has a daily journal and message boards.  Well, with being so impressed you may wonder how I've done.  I only lost a half a pound this week, but now I know why - the % of fat in my diet is way too high.  Knowledge is power.  For a long time I have had a strong belief that diets don't work.  I've watched too, too many people pay money to go on a diet, lose a bunch of weight, then gain it all back.  The only answer is to pay those same people more money to do it all again.  I in no way think i have a better plan because I am at my highest weight ever.  But I have read a lot (again, you can't read yourself thin)  about intuitive eating which is the common sense approach to eat when you are hungry (not because you are sad, happy, lonely, with friends, frustrated or bored), stop when you are physically full (not when your hand scrapes the bottom of the box) and eat whole foods that support your body and not abuse it.  A big principle of this approach is mindfulness/awareness, and I think this website is really helping me with that.  Will update next week ...

 

Adventures in potty training ...

Emily used the potty last night to go pee pee!  Last Wednesday we put panties on her, and she peed in them.  But when I rushed her to the bathroom she did poop in there, and we were very excited.  Since then we've been putting her in panties and she keeps peeing in them.  So I said forget it, and kept her in a pull-up all day.  Then she decides to go in the potty.  Whatever works!  Elijah, who is obsessed with the potty, acts like I am crazy when I actually try to get him to pee in the potty.  He did go one time in the toilet yesterday because he was in the bath and didn't have a pull-up on.  Thankfully he didn't go in the bath, LOL.  Slowly but surely. 

It's not accountability if you don't post!  LOL  Well, I lasted a week without soda, then started drinking it again on Saturday.  Something I've noticed about my personality is that I make big declarations that I expect to last for all time, then burn out and go back to bad habits.  I'm probably not alone either.  I read in Ecclesiastes today not to go to extremes.  That's why I'm trying to focus on small changes right now.  I did the walking DVD three times this past week, so I'm happy about that. 

 

I love the book of Ecclesiastes.  I remember being about 18 and reading it for the first time and just loving it.  I told Aaron how much I liked it and he read it, then said it was kind of depressing saying everything was meaningless.  It makes me laugh now because I can totally picture one of these dark, smokey bars with poetry reading and someone dressed all in black saying,

 

"Meaningless! Meaningless!"
       says the Teacher.
       "Utterly meaningless!
       Everything is meaningless."

I went back to my first blog of 2008, and the closest thing I had to a resolution was the statement, "I want to live life "on purpose" rather than constantly reacting to things."  Well, it's July and I'm not sure how I'm doing.  First the positive, Aaron and I decided to put our house on the market and we did all the repairs/cleaning that was required, and actually have it listed.  We've also decided to retire my CPA license as the first step toward me not working.  This has been a huge relief to me because a lot of my stress comes from trying to maintain everything and always feeling like I'm treading water in everything instead of focusing my efforts on a few important things - the kids, our home finances, our health, etc.  I'm planning on retiring my license in October to be able to finish up a few returns I still have on extension.  We've also decide to enroll Lydia in public school for kindergarten this year.  I want her to have a firm foundation in her education without being interrupted a hundred times a day by the twins.  We're going to take it a year at a time.  The negative, I still don't have much structure to my days.  I mean, sometimes I'm sitting on the computer at 11:00 am while the kids are running wild around me!    

The biggest problem I have with not being on top of things is in regards to my health.  You know the expression, there's an elephant in the room?  Yeah, that's my butt.  LOL  I have neglected my health for way too long.  I am 40 pounds heavier than when I got pregnant with the twins, and I needed to lose weight then!  I have been reading a lot of blogs about weight loss and recipes/cooking, and they are very inspiring.  One lady has lost 60 pounds since the beginning of the year.  But what is sad is that I read one of the inspirational stories that she has listed on her blog, and it is a lady that lost 100 pounds on Weight Watchers in 2004, and gained back 105!  I was cruising through her story getting all inspired, then came to the end and just thought, "what's the point?"  Well, the point is my knees hurt, I hardly have enough energy to get through the day and I don't want my time, money and attention to be spent on battling diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. if I don't do something now.  I bought an exercise DVD yesterday and I actually did it this morning!  I started with the 15-minute mile and stretching.  All the while the aroma of Elijah's diaper wafting through the air.  But I knew if I stopped to change him I would never get going again.  I also haven't had a soda since last Friday.  I'm trying to just drink water and tea during the day.  I've also been writing down everything I eat to make me accountable to myself.  If you could "read" yourself thin, you wouldn't be able to see me if I stood sideways.  But I'm realizing that reading about healthy eating and exercise, and actually doing it are two different things.  Hmmm, funny how that works.  I'm really resisting joining Weight Watchers, South Beach Diet online, etc., because the bottom line is I could probably have a nutrition degree with all I KNOW about it.  And I don't have the money for someone to weigh me once a week and ask, "has it been a tough week?" - Tom to me at Weight Watchers in 1999.  I need to apply what I know to real life.  One book I have that I do like is Ellie Krieger's "Small Changes Big Results"  It is common-sense food/nutrition ideas, exercise and mental-health "assignments" for each week.  So I am going to follow that so that I don't shell out more money, and I may use this blog for accountability, but don't want to make anyone uncomfortable with my personal issues.  LOL  As for now, I am continuing to write everything down, not drink soda, and going to do the video every morning.  I know I tried this a few years ago.  Well, I need to go make a healthy lunch.

Anyone want to buy a house?  Ours is for sale.  I've been cleaning like a mad woman getting it ready to list.  It's frustrating because I just know my kids are going to come behind me and mess it all up!  But I keep telling myself that millions of people sell their houses, so it will sell eventually.  We've had painting done, new light fixtures, and a door put on the laundry room (little things like that matter LOL). 

 

Let's see, what's been going on?  VBS was a lot of fun, even though the twins were sick and I had to shuttle them between Ann's and my mom's houses instead of the nursery.  I had a lot of fun teaching a couple of classes with Letty for the 9-12 year-old girls, and the 3-4 year olds. Our puppet show is a must-see .   The twins have given up their bottles!  One night we were out of milk and I was going to go to Kroger to get some, but Aaron suggested we try to put them to bed without them.  I washed the bottles and made a big deal of throwing away the bottles.  They kept saying, "babas only for babies!" but when they actually got into bed without them, Elijah cried, "I want my baba!"  But he quickly went to sleep and they have gone cold turkey.  It's probably been a month, and Elijah still says, "babas only for babies" when I put him down for a nap.

 

The twins turned three last Monday on June 30th.  I can't believe it's been three years!  Today is three years since my ankle surgery.  Shane & Lavonne's new baby Madelyn was born last Monday, so now the twins share the day with one more!  Hopefully Maddie won't mind, the twins had no choice but to share their B-Day.

 

Lydia got her haircut today and is donating it to make wigs for cancer patients.  She has been wanting her hair cut for a LONG time, and so have I.  It's exciting that she's able to help someone else by just growing her hair long.  Well, the kids are crying for dinner!