Yesterday was Lydia's last day of Kindergarten at Woodall Elementary.  It is bittersweet because I am so proud of her and all that she's accomplished, but I'm sad that another milestone has passed in her little life.  Oh for them to stay little!  I never thought I'd say that because having little kids has been one of the most challenging things I've ever experienced.  But it's like any worthwhile endeavor, you keep your head down working hard day in and day out, and one day you look up recognize the beautiful fruit of what you've invested yourself in.  By no means are my kids perfect, but I am so very blessed to be their mommy.  Lydia is like a burst of energy and joy that just lights up our family.  Then there's not one, but two beautiful shadows following her around.  Elijah's sense of humor catches me off guard and cracks me up!  And Emily's approach to things is so practical and confident, I just love it!  My kids make me feel joy, love, responsibility, exhaustion, peace, purpose, fear, frustration and hope like nothing I've ever known before them.  I distinctly remember coming home from the hospital with Lydia and thinking about Jesus dying on the cross for my daughter, and loving Him on such a new level because He actually did what I would be willing to do in a heartbeat.

 

One of the things I lack so much of is focus.  There are so many responsibilities to take care of, and distractions that entice me to waste time as well.  And I just get plain overwhelmed with the job of shaping these children into healthy, whole adults.  How does that happen?  Yes, I know I over-think things, but that's just me, I can't change who I am.  For a while now I've been thinking on Mark 12:30 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength" and how it is a road map of sorts to wholeness.  We won't be whole unless we fully engage and develop our emotions, worship, intellect and physical bodies.  It seems most people have an area where they excel and often let the other areas wither a little, or a lot.  My prayer and aim is to love God in these four areas to the best of my individual ability, and to provide opportunities for my kids to develop them as well. 

 

For where we are right now, Woodall was the best way for us to meet the need of Lydia's education.  But I no more think Woodall is responsible for her education than I think Kroger is responsible for feeding her, or CGT is responsible for discipling her.  As her parents, that is 100% my and Aaron's responsibility.  But I also know from my experience that I am far, FAR from sufficient to meet every need in this job, and I am so done with trying to do it all.  I'm very thankful for our experience so far with public school.  I hasn't been utopia, but it has met the needs in a positive way.  I know this world is going away from God, and that public education has many agendas that are contrary to my goals.  But there was a lot of evidence that in this particular school, in her particular class, He is still very much acknowledged.  There was prayer at the PTO meeting we attended, and they closed the prayer "in Jesus' name."  Mrs. Kimberly told us at "meet the teacher night" that her three priorities were "her faith, her family and her job."  And this is part of what she wrote in Lydia's yearbook, "What I love most about you is your heart.  I see God's love in your heart even at this young age ..."  I was so blessed to read that.  My ultimate purpose in life is to glorify the Lord in all I do, so I am so thankful that His love was seen in Lydia.  I am just so grateful to the Lord today for my kids and this awesome experience of being a mom.