Lydia informed me this morning that she is NOT going to college, because she doesn't want to be a "Work Woman" LOL!  I asked her what she wanted to be instead and she said, "Spy Mom"    Then she gave me her weekly schedule when she grows up.

 

Sunday - Church

Monday - Take kids to McDonald's

Tuesday - Take kids to TWO parks

Wednesday - Swimming Day

Thursday - Wal-mart Day

Friday - Chelsea is going to babysit her kids (hilarious)

Saturday - Library Day

 

When I asked about "Clean the House Day" which she hates, she said she isn't going to have one, she'll have a maid! 

I read "Mosaic" by Amy Grant on our trip, in fact I read the entire book on the plane flight from Nashville to LA.  And the thing that stuck out to me the most was what she said to her husband Vince Gill in the acknowledgements (not even from the body of the book).  It was, "Vince, I know you're not looking for a long, drawn-out thank you, but I need to say that your words - spoken day in and day out into my life - have changed the way I feel about myself and love."  I was convicted and encouraged about how our words that we speak to others have such an impact on each other.  I thought of my kids and how do they feel about themselves when their frustrated mother doesn't take the time to respond to them in love, but with irritation in my voice?  But also, how do they feel when I tell them I am so proud of them and thankful to be their mommy?  Our words matter, they have the power of life and death.  I have to admit that it is very damaging to listen to words that say I am not a child of God.  That has sunk deep.  But this weekend I have been convicted about choosing who to listen to.  The words of this song have reminded me and encouraged me.

 

"The Voice of Truth"

by Casting Crowns

 

Oh, what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

but the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high
from on top of them looking down
i will soar with the wings of eagles
when i stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says do not be afraid
And the voice of truth says this is for my glory
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe (I will choose to listen and believe)
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believe
'Cause Jesus you are the voice of truth
And I will listen to you.. oh you are 
 

 

The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;

To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;

To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.

Home sweet home.  Well, it's good to see the twins anyway.  We made it back last night.  On the drive from the airport Lydia kept saying she wanted to cry because she missed the twins so much.  Somehow that has passed as they fight over her toys this morning.

 

We left the house Thursday around 9:30 am.  We arrived in LA at 2:00 pm.  After a stop at In & Out we went straight to a very cool shopping center called The Grove where we took Lydia to the American Girl store.  It was so cool!  We let her pick a doll and she chose Kit (1934).  Then we left there and met Ann-Rene and Robert at Northwoods Inn in West Covina.  Then we went to our hotel in Anaheim.  The next morning we headed to Disneyland.  Ann-Rene met us there and we were there from 10 am until after 11 pm, without stopping!  Lydia had a blast and we learned the wonder of Fast Pass.  You can pick up a ticket, then come back at a later time and only stand in a fraction of the the total line.  I think her favorite there was Splash Mountain.  She rode Space Mountain, Matterhorn, Big Thunder Mountain and the Indiana Jones Ride, along with all the kiddie rides.  We saw the parade, and she did charades with some of the other kids while we waited for the parade to get to us.  It was really cute.  Then Saturday morning we got up and went to the new California Adventure Park.  We were really impressed with it.  Lydia LOVED the Tower of Terror ride.  It is a Twilight Zone ride where you are on a "haunted" elevator that free-falls.  She said that was her very favorite thing.  Ann-Rene went there with us also.  We left there around 8:30 pm and drove to San Diego. 

 

Sunday we got up and went to breakfast at this really good coffee shop/diner type place.  It was awesome!  Then we went to Sea World for a few hours.  I didnt know if she would enjoy Sea World, but she really did.  She followed the shows and laughed a lot at the sea lions and walrus show.  They also have a ride that she and Aaron went on.  It was a boat that did a Splash Mountain type drop, then went up an elevator and let loose as a roller coaster.  She loved that.  Then we left there and ate dinner from Roberto's taco stand.  Very yummy!  Then we drove out to Coronado Island and let her walk on the sand and get her feet wet in the water, but it was really cold.  Then back to the hotel where her and Aaron went in the pool.

 

Monday morning we went to La Jolla and ate at a place called "The Cottage"  it was awesome too.  Then we drove into Chino and went shopping.  I was so turned around because of all of the development since we left there.  The open fields between Chino and Chino Hills are solid shopping centers.  We went in a Nordstrom rack, and I got some stuff for Lavonne's baby and Aaron's cousin Tammy's baby.  Then we had lunch at In & Out. We drove around Chino and showed Lydia our houses and my old elementary school.  She wasn't real impressed, but acknowledged every thing with a hmmmm, wow.  LOL  Then we went and hung out at Ann-Rene's house for a while.  Kiki came by while we were there, that was so cool to see him.  He got married last week to a really cute girl (Ann-Rene had pics).  Then we met my friend Jeanette and her 5 year old daughter at Claim Jumper for dinner.  Jeanette and I met in Kindergarten, the same age as our girls, and have remained friends through all these years.  Lydia and her daughter Janea hit it off right from the start.  They are both outgoing, and it was SO, SO neat to see our girls having fun together.  After dinner we went to our hotel in Pomona, yes, Pomona!  I was very worried about it, but it was very nice, up on a hill by the LA county fair grounds.  So no street walkers, thank God!

 

Yesterday morning Lydia woke up and said, "Oh no, we have to go home!"  But by the end of the day she couldn't wait to see the twins.  We drove back to Chino to get a few donuts from Manna Donuts.  OMG, so good!  Then we went to Puente Hills and stopped at a Mervyn's.  I got the girls some really cute shoes (Ann-Rene) and Aaron some clothes.  Then we drove to El Segundo, right near LAX, and had lunch at a  place called Marmalade's Cafe.  Aaron and I had breakfast there last year, and it is awesome too.  Then we went to the airport.  Both flights went really well.  I was a little worried yesterday because a mom and two little kids sat behind us.  I thought it was going to be karma for Lydia's plane flight to Canada, but those kids were really good.  I finished two books on this trip, "Mosaic" by Amy Grant and "Scream Free Parenting".  My mom made fun of me for that book.  She told me to stop screaming and give HER my $15.  LOL  Both books were really good.

 

So here I sit with mountains of laundry to do and kids to get back into a routine.  I'm sure it won't be long before we are ready for another vacation.  How does next month sound?

Because it is much easier on your conscience to break a rule than to cheat on a lover.  Ouch.

 

Nothing is original, we are each just re-discovering truths that have existed long before we were here.  I read the above idea in Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller.  Man, I should be getting paid for how often I've quoted this book, but it has and is making such an impact on my thinking.  The chapter I'm reading is titled, "Morality - Why I am Better than You"  I love his humor.  He talks about morality being hijacked by both legalists and promoters of "cheap" grace.  I have to quote:

 

 

He talks about moral behavior being connected to a relational exchanging with Jesus, not about making me right or superior.  He says if we know God, we will obey Him, and love our brother.  If I can be presumptuous, I think this could be why Sarah had the strong reaction to the music she blogged about last week.  For her, that music represents another lover that she once had in place of the Lord, so to mix it with Christ's message grieves her deeply.  It's not because she tries to keep a standard of a certain number of beats per minute, but knows that in her heart the music represented a time when she was trying to satisfy her heart with an impostor.  I've really been pondering this for a few days now.  I know my idols, they are constant companions.  I have felt so powerless to tear down the strongholds, and of course I am, only Jesus can do that.  It reminds me of the line in "I'm Amazed" that says I've come to realize His love is stronger than my weakness.  The love relationship He offers is more than the power of sin in my life.   I also think of 1 Cor 13:1-3

 

 

A totally different thought, but I have been thinking of a line from Pocahontas.  LOL  My influences are varied.  I was thinking of a line in a song that says,  

 

 

Our lives are like that.  We are always growing and changing.  The same is true of communities.  You may think you know people, but if you haven't' stepped in a river in a long time, you are not dealing with the same water from several years ago.  Last year I had a conversation with a friend that took a different path than mine when we were teen-agers.  She is still a very dear friend, one that continues to bless my life in so many ways.  But we were talking about the Lord, and I was amazed to hear her ideas about God because they had not progressed from what I thought at 17 or 18 years old.  So you could look at my life and say, "Christian 10 years ago, Christian today, must be the same person."  That is just not the case.  Of course there are the big things, marriage and three kids defiantly impact your walk with the Lord, but there is the change that comes from daily walking with Him.  I have so much more to learn, and that is exciting.  It is not unlike marriage where you grow closer and closer through experiences.  I think about my wedding day, and as much as I loved Aaron, there is no comparison to that day and today.  When someone has walked with you through the joys and darkness like he has with me, it makes my heart hurt sometimes I love him so much.  

 

Well, I need to wrap this up.  We are leaving Thursday for California.  We are taking Lydia to Disneyland and San Diego.  I am nervous and sad about leaving the twins, but I know Ann will take good care of them.  I can't wait to see Lydia's face on all the rides.  We are also taking her to the American Girl Place in Los Angeles, but she doesn't know it yet.  I have a million things to do to get ready.  Better get at it.  

 

“Strawberry”

 by Lydia Clifford

 

Strawberry, strawberry, strawberry, strawberry

Haven’t you ever heard of things with strawberry in it?

 

Strawberry short-cake, strawberry juice

Strawberry things, that you’d like to choose

 

Strawberry jam, strawberry stuff

Strawberry cookies, I think that’s enough!

It's been a rough couple of weeks now.  The swell of emotion over my Grandma's passing has been exhausting.  But over all, it has been feelings of love, gratitude and admiration.  Like Aaron said, the toughest part is having one less person in this life cheering you on.  But I've had so many thoughts running through my head I thought I'd take a stab at putting them down.  I'm feeling the need to clear my head, square my shoulders back and move forward.

 

I read this quote in my Beth Moore devotional this week -

 

 

My first thought was, "oh grant it Lord that certain seasons would be complete!"  I'm incredibly tired of carrying some of the same baggage year after year.  Just when I think I've learned a lesson or had something removed from my heart, it rears its ugly head again.  But then I thought about surrender.  God has His timing, and I am foolish to do anything but surrender to it.  I think of the storms of this life, and it is so tempting to stand on soap boxes and declare what everyone else should be doing.  To judge every one's public words and private thoughts - as if I knew what those were - and shame people by my noble declarations.  But I am one life, I am one soul that desires more than anything to please the Lord.  The enemy will use ANY means to sway my devotion to the Lord.  And this has been very evident in my life right now.  Worry and fear are my distraction of choice (descendant of Zana Cooper), and I realize that my thoughts have NOT been on the Lord, my focus is NOT on His promise of salvation for my soul.  It reminds me again of some one's words that do I really think the God of the universe is unable to conquer the sin in my life, restore me to His image, and do it for my brother too?  Does God really need direction from me?

 

Switching gears, another thing that won't leave my head is a quote from Donald Miller in Searching for God Knows What.  He's talking about his childhood before he really began to search for the Lord.  He says,

 

 

And this guy didn't even grow up in CGT - shocking!  You think it could be we're all subject to immaturity?  And by the grace of God there is more than this initial approach?  The reason this won't leave my head is because I could have written it myself.  This was my underdeveloped view of Christianity, and I think could be a major reason those raised in church from birth look at the church and decide it isn't working for them.   If I had never met the Lord at 24 years old, I would have moved on to bigger and more satisfying things than this quote represents.  I only knew the Lord through other people, rather than knowing other people through the paradigm of my relationship with Christ.  The thing I try to keep foremost in my mind is that other people are His, and who am I to judge another man's servant?  He's able to judge, redeem, restore and save them much better than I am.  The shift for me was almost 10 years ago now, and was very much tied to graduating from college, getting married and beginning my career.  I was an adult and, praise God, saw my need for a deeper relationship with the Lord.    The self-protecting question is whose fault is this?  I don't think fault really needs to be assigned, but recognition that as children we naturally associate abstract, intangible things with the things we can experience with our five senses.  I'm thankful that season gave way to a new one that included seeing my desperate state and seeking the Lord's deliverance from it.  I praise God that there is something deeper than mental assent to a list of doctrines, but real relationship with Jesus.  And 10 years later, I am yearning for still another season, one of even closer relationship and transformation.

 

Another thing I can't get out of my mind is a line from a song on a Mars Hill CD that we have.  It speaks of Jesus and says,

 

 

That seems like one of the most unlikely qualities to develop - not defending yourself and not trying to break down someone that opposes you, or seems weak.  I'm glad for people that didn't snuff me out when I was only a smoking flax.  I always think of Sis. Delores and how she extravegantly expressed her love for me when I was a young woman and less than loveable.    I'm thankful for people loving me.  Hmmmm, it does come back around to people, doesn't it?