I absolutely love to read.  I have since I was about 8 years old.  My mom used to buy me The Bobbsy Twins mystery books.  It was about a family with two sets of boy-girl twins that solved mysteries.  Bert and Nan are the older twins, and Flossie and Freddie are the younger set.  Hmmm, maybe I won't attempt another pregnancy.    And I never really stopped reading and even today it's my favorite thing to do to relax.  I love hearing other people's stories.  When I was 16 my parents took me to see Les Miserables on stage.  I loved it so much they took me again.  I had the double CD and knew every word of both of them.  Cliff Clavin Voice - you know, every word of Les Miserables is sung, not one word is spoken.  This is different from other musicals in that most dialogue is spoken, then the characters break into song from time to time.  LOL!  Anyway, my favorite character was Eponine.  She is a poor beggar girl that lives in the streets and falls in love with one of the college students that is planning a revolution against the French government, but he's in love with another.  She isn't the heroine really, and she dies in the middle of the play.  But her song "On My Own" is probably my very favorite.  She sings about how lonely she is, but that at night she pretends he's with her and that he loves her.  The melody is so beautiful.  The thing I keep thinking about is how at different times throughout the play, when her character is important to a scene, the orchestra plays a little bit of this song.  The song identifies her character. 

 

I saw this in Neal's work Testimony.  I can't remember which exact song it's from because I haven't listened to the whole thing in a long time, but I think it is "I am Willing" or "Oh to Feel Him" that has a melody that has been hinted at earlier in the CD when Neal is starting to believe, or considering maybe the Lord is real, and the answer for his "Wasted Life".  I got so excited about this a few weeks ago that I called Neal and Cherie and asked him what is it called when composers use a specific theme to identify a character or an idea?  He kindly said, "um yeah, it's thematic technique.  Writers have been using it forever."  Oh.  But what had me so excited was that morning I had been reading about Abraham taking Isaac up to the mountain to sacrifice him, but God sending a ram.  I felt like I was listening to a familiar melody.  There was a hinting, a foreshadowing of Jesus taking my place on the cross.  All through the Old Testament there are prophecies pointing towards Jesus.  All these beautiful themes and melodies woven throughout the word.  Then Jesus comes, and he intertwines all those snippets of music into one big, beautiful song.  His death for me and His resurrection and promise of life for humanity comes to its fullness in Him.  It's so beautiful.

 

At the first of the year Sis. Wilma gave her testimony about the terrible car accident she was in, I think about 50 years ago.  I was moved by how when she spoke about the extremely broken condition her body was in and then the healing she received, she wept just like it had happened yesterday.  That experience of being physically restored can never be taken away from her.  She LIVED the truth of Jesus taking broken pieces and restoring them into a fully functional person.  I could hear the music as she spoke.  Beautiful truth of God restoring us from our shattered condition.  That's why we share our testimonies.  Our stories are part of His song, and some day they'll all be played together to make the most beautiful masterpiece ever, when we are back in perfect communion with God.  That's why I love to read, I love to look for pieces of the song.  It makes me feel like Luke 24:31-32 "Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight.  They asked each other, 'Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?'"  I want my eyes and ears open to everything He is saying.  I want to hear the music. 

 

This may have come off as kind of melodramatic, and I just want to say I am totally insecure about that.  But I need something to burn within my soul.  I'm tired of being angry and hurt and broken.  I'm tired of debating non-essentials and blaming and diagnosing other people's problems.  I want to remember why I chose Jesus.  I want to remember that He makes something beautiful out of all of our confusion, brokenness and strife.

 

Something Beautiful by Bill Gaither

 

Something beautiful, something good
All my confusion He understood
All I had to offer Him was brokenness and strife
But he made something beautiful of my life

If there ever were dreams
That were lofty and noble
They were my dreams at the start
And hope for life's best were the hopes
That I harbor down deep in my heart
But my dreams turned to ashes
And my castles all crumbled, my fortune turned to loss
So I wrapped it all in the rags of life
And laid it at the cross.